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10 Signs He/She Might be a Toxic Friend

Friends are the family that we can choose. We look to our friends when times are good and when times are bad. We cherish meaningful connections with people that share our values and traditions. Having friends fosters a sense of belonging that every human desires.

The truth is, we need friends.

The philosopher Aristotle believes in the power of friendships too. Check out this quote:

“In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.”

Sometimes our desire to surround ourselves with people that we appreciate and care for can put us in relationships that don’t mean us well; we could end up in the company of harmful people disguising themselves as friends.

Here are 10 signs that he/she might be a toxic friend:

They’re untrustworthy. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you can’t trust this person, don’t have them around you.

They’re always involved in drama. If drama seems to follow them everywhere, in every situation, you’ll likely be sucked into those situations with them.

They’re a freeloader. If they take advantage of others’s generosity, expect that they’ll take advantage of yours.

They’re self-centered. The world revolves around them. Nobody else matters, including you.

They don’t celebrate with you when you win. True friends root for you to rise. If your success makes them uncomfortable they’re not your friend.

They lack empathy. Someone that is incapable of empathy is a sociopath. That’s all.

They’re pessimistic. Like being around a Negative Nancy ALL THE TIME. Can’t be positive about anything.

They’re a gossip. The old folks used to say that a dog that brings a bone will carry a bone. If they’re gossiping with you about other people, they may be gossiping with other people about you.

They’re a bully. They’re not taking your lunch money or shoving you in a locker, but they may be attacking you emotionally, leaving you feeling like crap.

They’re inconsistent. Here one day, gone the next.

If you recognize these signs in the people you consider friends, take some time to evaluate your relationship. If the signs point to them being bad for you, do yourself a favor and let them go.

Your peace of mind is too valuable.

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When Did You Find Your Beautiful?

We believe that beauty is a source of confidence. Our mission at The Confetti Collective is to inspire women to be the best version of themselves – because when you’re at your best, you’re happier.
We’re rolling out our “FindingMyBeauty’ blog series to highlight women that choose every day to live their beauty authentically.

Telling your story is easy, just complete the questionnaire below!

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Do’s and Don’ts of Hair Steaming

Steaming is one of THEEEE best things you can do to pamper your natural hair, but if you’re relaxed and/or color treated, steaming should be in your hair care routine as well. Steam sessions work to hydrate dry hair by leaving thirsty tresses juicy and happy. The moist heat from a steamer also encourages blood flow to circulate, which promotes hair growth.

A steamer works by lifting the hair cuticle allowing your treatments (deep conditioner, oils, etc.) to penetrate deeply into the hair shaft and healing damaged hair.

But like with anything else, a steamer will only work IF YOU USE IT. Read on for the do’s and don’ts of hair steaming:

moisture-hair-confetti-collective

DO steam often.

DO steam for at least 20 minutes per session.

DO ensure the ends of your hair are accessible to the steam. They’re the oldest part of your hair.

DO allow your hair to cool after a steam session before rinsing (if you used conditioner) or applying product.

 

 

DON’T steam more than every 10-14 days, it’s possible to over moisturize your hair.

DON’T be afraid to experiment with herbs in your steam. For example, rosemary is great for strengthening hair and reducing breakage.

DON’T invest in a steamer before you know what your porosity is.

Steamers come in two types – handheld and hood. Depending on what your hair goals are, choosing the right one is key. Mo is a fan of the hood hair steamer, she uses the Huetiful Hair Steamer, you can see this steamer in action here.

If maintaining moisture is an issue for you, a steamer can be a great option for transforming your hair into it’s healthiest version. You’ll enjoy hair that is lush and luscious 🙂

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Clothing and Self-Esteem

“It’s just clothes.”

Not really. Your clothing affects how other people perceive and respond to you. Your clothing affects how you think and feel about yourself, your clothing affects your self-esteem.

More so than wearing the latest trends –  being comfortable, looking poised and feeling self-assured begins (or ends) with the clothes you wear.

What comes to mind when you think of the movie Pretty Woman? ? For many people it’s the scene where Julia Roberts goes on her shopping spree; and it’s not about the clothes. It’s about the transformation that the clothes will bring.

According to a study published by The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology fashion sense and clothing choices have an affect on a person’s emotional state. Whether you (want to) believe it or not, self-esteem is affected by your clothing and your clothing choices are affected by self-esteem.

 

Particularly for women, our clothing tells a story of who we are, how we’re feeling that day. For example, the all-white pants suit exudes power and authority. The peplum top could be displaying femininity. The pencil skirt says, “It’s handled” with a nod to the Gladiator-in-Chief, Olivia Pope.

If you have no idea where to begin with choosing confident-boosting clothes, here are 3 tips:

Be comfortable. When you’re uncomfortable it shows on your face. Make sure that your clothing choices feel good on your body. It shouldn’t be something you have to tug on or adjust constantly, taking your focus off what’s in front of you. When you’re comfortable in your clothes you can show up in the full version of yourself

Show personality. Just like you choose wrapping paper for a present, think of your clothes as wrapping for your inner gifts. What are your statement-making giftspersonality traits? Are you creative, modern, open to adventure? Let that come out through what you wear.

Play up your strengths. Do your shoulders give Michelle Obama a run for her money? Do you have legs for days? Do people pay to have lips like yours? Those are your strengths, show them off!

 

We’re not saying that a cute outfit can cure self-esteem issues, but when you need a confidence boost, knowing that you’re presenting the best you that you can be is a welcome source of encouragement.

 

 

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Moisturizing Low Porosity Hair in a Protective Style

Knowing your porosity is the first step to maintaining moisture in naturally textured hair. Moisture is an essential ingredient in a healthy hair regimen, and low porosity hair requires a bit of TLC in this area, because it repels moisture.

(NOTE: moisture = water, you don’t drink oil when you get thirsty)

Low porosity hair is characterized by a tightly closed cuticle, which takes the hair longer to become saturated during shampooing, is often resistant to chemical treatments and takes longer to dry.

Moisture for #naturalhair = water. You don't drink oil when you're thirsty. Click To Tweet

Low porosity hair often doesn’t appear to have elasticity or volume.

Moisturizing requires effort. Under normal circumstances, moisturizing low porosity hair requires heat or some other method of forcing the hair cuticle to open. So how does low porosity hair get moisturized when it’s in a protective style???

A key to retaining moisture in low porosity hair is layering lightweight products to prevent buildup. To prevent mildew in your protective style, you hair has to have time to dry, particularly with protective styles like crochet braids and sewins.

Starting with warm water and/or a liquid leave-in conditioner to dampen and help open the hair cuticle to allow moisture in. Depending on your preferred LOC/LCO method and the type of protective style you’re wearing, you might skip creams and butters and follow with a lightweight oil like almond, jojoba or grapeseed to seal.

If you’re wearing twists, braids or and updo you can opt for (again) a light moisturizing lotion, like Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Daily Hair Conditioner, Giovanni Leave-In Weightless Moisture Conditioner, or Kinky Curly Knot Today.

Since low porosity hair requires more effort to dry, it would be a good idea to sit under a hood dryer to ensure that your hair you don’t end up with smelly head. An important part of your bedtime natural hair care regimen should also include sleeping with a satin hair covering or on a satin pillowcase. Cotton fabrics wick moisture from the hair and can cause frizz.

Note: You SHOULD be cleaning your scalp regularly while wearing a protective style, regardless of your porosity.

Natural hair thrives in moisture, and your chosen hairstyle shouldn’t prevent you from keeping your hair in its best condition to avoid breakage.

 

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Raising Confident Girls: Five Tips for Grown-Ups

“Be nice.”

These two words are ingrained in our girls from very early in their lives. We remind them over and over and over again that niceness is important. We teach them that niceness is valuable. We tell them that if they’re nice, everything will be wonderful.

We don’t (as often) encourage them to be confident. If we aren’t as intentional, are we really raising confident girls?

In case you missed it, confidence is what we do. Through our blog, our Youtube channel, live events and our apparel we inspire confidence in women and girls. Confidence matters.

We believe that our girls (we take responsibility for being positive examples for girls, so they’re ours) are the next generation of leaders. As they grow to become future educators, entrepreneurs, executives and parents/caretakers, we should be girding them up with confidence and self-esteem.

 

Mo did a live chat about this topic, inspired by Taylor Swift’s mother. Check it out here.

Challenge her. Nothing helps our girls build a solid sense of esteem and self-value than trying (and finishing) something that they once believed was difficult.

Compliment specifically. Comedian Chris Rock once said that women need food, water and compliments….he is SO right. Girls needs to hear compliments as well, but if we want to really make an impact on their self-awareness, those compliments should be specific to them, instead of a blanket “You’re great!”, offer praise based on progress that she’s made on a challenging task.

Encourage assertiveness. The whole “be nice” thing can be dangerous because it sends a message to our girls that other people’s needs and wants are more important than theirs. “Be nice” tells them not to say or do anything that makes other people uncomfortable, without balancing that message with the important of their own needs. Make sure she knows that it’s okay to stand up for herself.

Change her language. Going back to this post, words matter. Encourage her to have frequent conversations with herself, and speak positive words.

Show her better than you can tell her. When she sees girls, young ladies and women doing amazing things, she believes that she can do amazing things. Surround her with role models that show her the possibilities, not the limitations.

In our society that seems to value selfies over self-esteem, it’s important to remind our girls that what REALLY matters is seeing themselves as valuable, worthy, strong and confident.

 

Living in Confetti,

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Words Matter: Confidence and Self-Talk

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7

You don’t have to believe it, but it’s true – your level of confidence is affected by your self-talk.

Whatever you believe (and say) about and to yourself shapes how you feel about yourself. When it comes to raising young girls, it’s a MUST that they know the power of the words they speak to themselves. Self-talk has a tremendous impact on confidence, and we use our BYOB® and EmpowHER message to spread self-esteem and confidence in women and girls everywhere.

We recently had the opportunity to participate in a 3-day girls camp hosted by Barnett Salon Suites in Sierra Vista, AZ, and it was revolutionary. 42 girls between the ages of 10-18 learned about team building, how to make healthy food choices, art, wellness, fashion/style, hair care, financial management, fitness and how to be their own beautiful.

 

Replace negative self-talk to begin boosting confidence. #InspireConfidence Click To Tweet

During our “Confidence Course” workshop, Mo talked to the girls about the importance of speaking positive words to themselves as a way to boost confidence and improve self-esteem. The “small tinies” (elementary schoolers) received the “Beautiful Like Me” affirmation card, and the middle and high schoolers received a copy of the Confidence Code of Conduct. These documents were created to help our next generation of leaders build their personal practice of positive self-talk to feel good about themselves, and support others to do the same.

 

Click below and sign up to receive your very own copy of our newest confidence boosters for FREE!

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Is it Time to Quit?

“Quitters  never win.”

“Knowing when to quit may be the best strategy.”

Which one of these is true?  What if both are true? What if neither are true?  Do you know if you’re purposed to do something else in this life, and the thing you’re doing now is preventing you from getting started?

How do you know if it’s time to quit?

  • when the long-term costs outweigh the short-term benefits
  • when your priorities have changed
  • when you’re doing it for the wrong reasons
  • when you’re no longer passionate about it
  • when you don’t see a future worth pursuing

Sometimes quitting is an act of self-preservation; sometimes you just have to do it. But there is a lot of fear and doubt involved in making the decision.

I had this conversation with myself recently, and the answer became crystal clear to me as to what I should do.

Sometimes quitting is an act of self-preservation, but how do you know for sure? Click To Tweet

Watch this video to get the scoop:

You’ll find a lot of advice out there about how to know when it’s time to quit (including this post), but the bottom line is the decision is yours to make.

Whether it’s from a job, a business, relationship, etc. you have to be VERY CLEAR about what you really want in order the make the final decision.

Because confidence comes from clarity.

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Perfect Fit: Best Practices for Buying Clothes Online

Online shopping is super popular right now because people are pressed for time and don’t want to spend hours going in and out of traditional retail stores. It’s very appealing to hop online while in bed, buy the perfect top for your new job, your weekend festivities or your BFF’s new bundle of joy.

However, shopping online does come with its issues, but with a little upfront effort they can be overcome. Savvy online shoppers know how to navigate the internet shopping space, and we want to make sure you handle things like a pro from this point forward.

Here’s how to get the perfect fit when you’re buying clothes online:

Product Descriptions – Are you allergic to synthetic material? You might want to make sure your purchase is 100% cotton. Additionally, different fabrics “hang” on the body differently, so you should look for descriptions about the products, beyond how amazing you’ll look wearing it.

Testimonials/Reviews – What the people say?? Reviews are a very reliable source of information, pay attention to what past customers have to say about the product   and their experience with the company to help you decide.

Size Chart – Every woman knows that what constitutes a small at one retailer doesn’t mean the same thing at another. To avoid any headaches and extra work of returning a product, check the size chart for any item you’re considering purchasing. Also look for garment specifications that outline the measurements for each size so you can compare with your measurements.

Photos –  While it’s nice to see the item worn on a model, it’s even better to see actual customers wearing it! Here you get a very good idea of how it looks on a variety of body types and shapes in real life AND you can get ideas for how to style it.

Return Policy – This is online shopping, remember? Be sure to check the store’s return policy before to buy. In the event you’re not satisfied with your purchase you need to know what steps to take in order to return your items.

With clothing labels and sizes being so different from store to store, it’s difficult enough to find the perfect fit when you do go out to shop. Use these tips to help you save time and gas on traveling to the mall, and make sure your next online purchase is the right one!

 

Inspiring Confidence,

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Crochet Twisted Mohawk Updo

It’s the hands-off benefits of protective styles with the edgy sassiness of a mohawk…add in crochet hair and you’re done in 30 minutes or less!

The crochet twisted mohawk updo is your new favorite natural hair style.

Using your favorite (leftover) pre twisted crochet hair, you can create an updo that’s suitable for professional and/or elegant settings, styled in a mohawk ‘do that allows your individuality to shine through.

Check out the Crochet Twisted Mohawk Updo below, and get ready to

Hosting our 3rd Annual Southern AZ Natural Hair & Lifestyle Meetup allowed us the opportunity to partner with AfroVeda. Be on the lookout for more tutorials featuring these amazing products!

If you want to achieve the look of having a mohawk without shaving your head, this style is a MUST. Be on trend by adding a pop of color with your favorite extensions, and cornrows will add a few more wearable weeks to this style.

Are you rocking a mohawk/faux-hawk right now? Post your pics in the comments!

Inspiring Confidence,

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