Self-Care = Boundaries: Here’s Why

boundary line between two people

Women know what it means to practice self-care, right?

It’s bath time, mani-pedis, meditation and retail therapy, right?

Not exactly.

The practice of self-care definitely comes through in pampering yourself, but its only after the awareness of boundaries (or lack thereof), that those activities we do have a deeper meaning. Our lives are extremely busy – we’re overwhelmed, anxious and TIRED. The reason we need self-care is to restore peace, reduce stress or inspire healthy productivity.

Self-care equals boundaries.

Boundaries are put in place for a reason; they define limits that separate you from everything/everyone else. Boundaries keep bad stuff out and provide protection for whatever is on the “you side” of the line. Boundaries create the space for you to flourish freely, they allow you to learn who you are and how best to take care of yourself.

When we carve out time to get a massage, we know that it’s because we’re responsible for how we feel, and in that moment, a massage happens to be EXACTLY what we need. When we get that manicure we’re giving ourselves permission to look after our bodies in a very specific way. Instead of centering the activity, focus on the feeling that the activity helps us to create.

Self-care gives us the room to preserve what’s necessary by eliminating what’s not. It’s our opportunity prioritize our health and well-being. Our self-care is our opportunity to say no and mean it.

If you find it difficult to stick to a consistent self-care regimen, it’s probably a sign that you don’t have clear boundaries. Aswomen we have a tendency of overextending ourselves. We’re conditioned put everyone else’s needs first. Let’s remember that that even Super Woman needs a break!  If we’re not careful with setting and enforcing boundaries we end up gaining OR losing weight, getting sick, exhausted, frustrated, etc.

When we create healthy boundaries we give ourselves the space to take inspired action to care for ourselves.

What usually drives you to finally making that massage appointment or deciding for good that you’re going to improve your diet?


What causes stress? Being overextended, overcommitted, overworked, etc. If healthy boundaries were in place, being over-anything would be less likely to happen, because you would know how to treat yourself and find true enjoyment in your life.

Decide that today will be the day that you prioritize your well-being. You’re not being selfish, you’re being self-careful. Only you can take care of you, and not taking care of you is dangerous.

The bottom line is this – setting boundaries is an act of self-love; self-love is the beginning of self-care.


About mo

I help world-changing women walk boldly in their power, and show up fully expressed in all areas of their lives.

Certified Confidence Coach, US Army Veteran, and Audacity Activator.

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