What Does Evolving Look Like?

butterfly evolution

How do I know if I’m evolving? Am I supposed to feel certain things or go through something in a different way?

This question came from a podcast listener after episode 305 was published where I talked about what I imagine it looks like to be in a season of self discovery, growing in confidence and how that journey lasts over our a lifetime.  I was SO excited to offer an answer in episode 306 of Confident Women Glow.

What happens when you’re evolving? What does evolving look like?

In episode 306 of the podcast I identified 4 phases that I’ve experienced during my own seasons of transition, because the way life starts ‘lifeing’ sometimes it helps to have some idea of what we can expect so we’ll have the courage to keep going. You can listen to the episode below:

Based on my lived experience you’ll know you’re evolving when you go through:

Questioning there is a general feeling of uncertainty, and things might feel unstable. You’e asking a lot of questions and not having very many answers. You can’t quite put your finger on what’s happening, you just know that something is “off”. In previous podcast episodes and social media content I’ve talked about the season before I joined the military where I was angry and uncomfortable all the time – everything aggravated me and nothing I did to distract myself worked. It wasn’t until I started telling the truth about what I was feeling that I began to recognize that I was trying to squeeze myself into a space that didn’t fit me anymore.

Note: During this time I didn’t have a relationship with a therapist or any other type of objective emotional support. All I had was my journal, this was my safe place to process what I was feeling. Remembering this time of my life was the inspiration for creating the ‘Confidently Me’ Digital Self-Discovery Cards. Even if you don’t have access to outside support right now, resources are available.

Discovering – you’re getting whispers of the person you’re becoming, and curiosity is leading you to explore new things. Trying new foods, going on adventures, buying new clothing & accessories, practicing different habits – the outward changes in your behavior feel good!

Wrestling (Fighting) – resistance has entered the chat. The pull of the status quo shows up to reject the new discoveries to keep things from changing. Internally this can look like self-doubt, negative self-talk, sabotaging yourself out of fear, procrastination/distractions, etc. In your relationships this shows up in backlash from people who are uncomfortable with you changing. Your life feels like it’s unraveling.

Embodying – to embody something means: “to be an expression of or give visible form to”. You’re welcoming the ease of your becoming; the things you’ve experimented with/practiced are becoming a part of you and how you show up in the world. You have more peace, you’re settled within yourself and you’re no longer looking outside of you for the things you used to chase.

I believe that we all have the power to create whatever life we want for ourselves. Regardless of where you come from, what you used to do, and what happened to you – those experiences shaped you, but they don’t have to be in the driver’s seat of your life right now.

Your evolution may not happen in the exact order I shared these phases, but now that you have this information I hope you’ll trust yourself to navigate whatever your journey has for you, that’s where your confidence resides.❤️

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About mo

I help world-changing women walk boldly in their power, and show up fully expressed in all areas of their lives.

Certified Confidence Coach, US Army Veteran, and Audacity Activator.

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