It’s my job to tell you this… the reason you’re drained and frustrated is because you’ve been trying to be the thermostat for everybody else’s life instead of your own.
I know what it’s like to keep the peace, to carry the weight of making sure everyone else is comfortable, happy, and cared for—only to realize you’re left depleted. But here’s the truth: you can’t control anybody else. Not what they want, not how they move, not even how they show up for you.
What you can control? The temperature you set in your own life.
Your Desires Are Not Selfish
So many of us were taught that wanting what we want is selfish. But your desires aren’t selfish, they’re your guidance system. Your desires are how your inner wisdom points you toward alignment. When you learn to listen, everything shifts.
When you focus on your desires, you stop:
- Chasing approval from people who may never give it.
- Over-functioning in relationships, workplaces, and communities where your effort isn’t matched.
- Waiting for someone else to give you permission to move forward.
Instead, you start standing in your power. You make decisions rooted in clarity, not fear. And you begin to see yourself as worthy of creating the life you actually want to live.
Setting Your Own Thermostat
Think of it like this: every room you walk into has a temperature. Sometimes it’s warm, inviting, and supportive. Other times it’s cold, critical, or draining. Too often, we take responsibility for adjusting other people’s thermostat instead of setting our own.
But when you get clear about what you want and honor that, you set the standard for your life. You’re not adjusting to fit someone else’s comfort zone. You’re creating an environment where you can thrive.
And here’s the beauty: when you hold that temperature steady, the right people will rise to meet you. The ones who can’t stand the heat? That’s their choice to make.
How Confident Women Glow
Confident women don’t waste their energy managing everyone else’s comfort. They know their glow comes from honoring their desires, setting their own thermostat, and showing up fully as themselves.
And that’s the invitation for you today:
✨ Stop trying to manage everybody else’s everything.
✨ Focus on yourself.
✨ Watch your glow light up everything around you.
Your desires are not a burden — they’re the blueprint for your freedom. Focusing on them isn’t just self-care; it’s self-trust in action.
Reflection Questions to Journal On
- Where in my life am I adjusting my thermostat to keep others comfortable, and how is that draining me?
- What desire have I been silencing because I was afraid of being “selfish”? What would it look like to honor it today?
- If I set the temperature of my own life to match my truth, what shifts would I expect to see in my energy, relationships, and confidence?
Want to go deeper? The Inner Strength Journal ebook is here to help, or grab the softcover book here. You’ll be amazed at how much clarity comes when you give yourself permission to listen to your desires.
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